Colorado Springs Pt. 1

Colorado Springs. Well... My Dad was stationed at Peterson AFB, and we rented a home in Widefield. I think technically it's Security-Widefield. It's a suburb on the south side of Colorado Springs. Our house was a newer home. Three stories. At that time, I remember thinking it was one of the nicest homes we've lived in so far, not that I had much to compare it to at my young age, but it was nice. 

I was in third grade when we moved there, and I went to Widefield Elementary school (so now I'm on my third elementary school in third grade) and my teach was Mr. Turner. I remember liking him and thinking he was a nice teacher. I remember the playground at the school and walking to/ from school. I just don't really remember any friends at the school. 

In our neighborhood I had a friend next door which ended up not being such a great friend and a few blocks away had another. I never felt comfortable there (in Widefield) and I think that's when my anxiety started, though, I didn't know that's what it was. The girl next door was probably not the girl you'd want your child to hang around. She was just a little sassy, spoiled. I will NEVER forget, except I don't remember what started it. Something happened with the girl next door and my bonus mom got pissed (standing up for me), and without really thinking it through she left a pretty threatening voicemail on their answering machine LOL. Well, they ended up calling the cops and I think my bonus mom ended up having to do community service or something in that sense. Well after that, I definitely wasn't hanging out with her anymore. 

There as one morning I was home alone - everyone was at work or had left for school and I think I was supposed to walk to school that day. That's the first time I had an anxiety attack. I was in our bathroom on the main level, and I couldn't breathe, I couldn't make myself leave the house. I had NO idea what was going on. I THINK my dad had come home or maybe he was still there, I'm not sure, and couldn't understand why I was crying and why I hadn't gone to school yet. Truthfully, I didn't know why I was crying or what was going on with me either. 

The basement was unfinished, and my two older brothers made that their bedroom/ hangout spot. I thought they were so cool. They had a couch down there and I was sleep down there all the time. It must have been their freshmen year of high school, and they joined R.O.T.C., and they were trying on their uniforms and had me convinced they were going to be shipped off for years and years. I was devastated. Until I figured out, they were pranking me and then I'm sure I wished they would go away! 

One of the summers when we were living in Widefield we went and spent with our mom in..... Illinois I think? That's when I cut all my hair off. My Mom always had a pixie, and I wanted to cut my hair too... when we came back at the end of the summer my dad was NOT happy. He looked at me and said, "when you guys left, I had three boys and a daughter, now I have four boys". That hurt my little heart. NOW as a mom of two girls, I TOTALLY understand. I would be devastated if my girls did that, without my permission, without me knowing, and something SO drastic! 

• Widefield was a place:
  I first saw Titanic 
  The first time I felt lonely
  I learned to return things that weren't yours (I found a ton of money in the school parking lot and turned it in and got an award for it).  
  Learned my bike would become my best friend
  

I don't know how long we lived in Widefield. Maybe a year? I know I finished third grade there, but fourth grade I went to Monroe Elementary, and we also moved from Widefield to base housing on Peterson AFB. I loved it. Our house wasn't anything exciting. Linoleum flooring, dark interior. But I'm sure it was much cheaper, and we weren't living next door to the family my bonus mom "threatened" LOL. I still think that's so funny. 

Peterson allowed us to be a little more free. Though it also maybe gave, especially my brothers, too much freedom? My two oldest brothers were starting to drive, my middle brother was trying to figure out where he fit in, and I think that's really when a turn in our family/ home life happened. Again, from what I can remember...